The Countdown

I can't believe we are less than 8 weeks from this baby's due date.

Time has been going so fast lately. I thought that once we moved it would slow down--smaller space, away from my friends...it hasn't. Every Sunday the Mr. and I look at each other and say 'is it really time to go to church again?' The days just come and go like it's nothing.

I have spent a lot of time preparing for the birth of this baby. What I have not spent time preparing for is every second after that. I try to envision having two little ones; how it's going to be with a new baby now that the Bug is in the picture. I have a feeling my whole world is about to turn upside-down. Of course, this happened when the Bug was born as well. I imagine going from one to two isn't as big a shift as from none to one.

Life is certainly different than my childless days. And I'm not complaining. I would never, ever go back. I read an article in the newspaper a few months ago that said that some studies show that children add to an individual's unhappiness. I was so angry that anyone would ever promote that idea. Children make life worth living.


Yes, I am tied down. Yes, I am more limited in my choice of activities and entertainment. But really, I would rather have purpose than all the fun in the world. Everything I was able to do before was just a distraction--a way to fill the void of what I didn't have yet until I had it. And to be honest, the fun that I get to have now is exponentially more enjoyable than before, because it has depth to it. I get to be with the people I love. Life is so much more fulfilling now than before.


Sometimes I get a little selfish and I worry about my 'routine' and how I'll keep my house clean and how I'll get my exercise in, and all the little things that keep me feeling human. I wonder how I will discipline a feisty two year old when I'm tied to the couch nursing a baby, and if I can keep my cool and manage my temper. I wonder if I will be able to give the Bug the love and attention that I want to give him when there is another little bundle to love and take care of, with seemingly more urgent needs.



And then I remember that billions of other women have done the same thing. They survived. Their children survived. Some of them even did well.

I am excited to meet this little tornado that has been living inside of me for so long. I can't wait to be able to look at him and feel his soft, soft skin. I am excited for the Bug to be a big brother. I am happy that our little family is growing. I hope that I am up to the challenge. I know that there are going to be long periods of readjusting for all of us. If it is anything like last time, there will be some very blue days ahead for me. Perhaps months worth of them. But they pass. They always pass, and they make the happy days priceless treasures.

So even though I may never feel like I'm on top of the latest mess or project and that I'll never be completely ready for this baby to come, I'm glad that the time is flying and that this baby will be here sooner than I can believe. This is going to be a great summer!

Isaac Forrest Jan 2009

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