The Countdown

I can't believe we are less than 8 weeks from this baby's due date.

Time has been going so fast lately. I thought that once we moved it would slow down--smaller space, away from my friends...it hasn't. Every Sunday the Mr. and I look at each other and say 'is it really time to go to church again?' The days just come and go like it's nothing.

I have spent a lot of time preparing for the birth of this baby. What I have not spent time preparing for is every second after that. I try to envision having two little ones; how it's going to be with a new baby now that the Bug is in the picture. I have a feeling my whole world is about to turn upside-down. Of course, this happened when the Bug was born as well. I imagine going from one to two isn't as big a shift as from none to one.

Life is certainly different than my childless days. And I'm not complaining. I would never, ever go back. I read an article in the newspaper a few months ago that said that some studies show that children add to an individual's unhappiness. I was so angry that anyone would ever promote that idea. Children make life worth living.


Yes, I am tied down. Yes, I am more limited in my choice of activities and entertainment. But really, I would rather have purpose than all the fun in the world. Everything I was able to do before was just a distraction--a way to fill the void of what I didn't have yet until I had it. And to be honest, the fun that I get to have now is exponentially more enjoyable than before, because it has depth to it. I get to be with the people I love. Life is so much more fulfilling now than before.


Sometimes I get a little selfish and I worry about my 'routine' and how I'll keep my house clean and how I'll get my exercise in, and all the little things that keep me feeling human. I wonder how I will discipline a feisty two year old when I'm tied to the couch nursing a baby, and if I can keep my cool and manage my temper. I wonder if I will be able to give the Bug the love and attention that I want to give him when there is another little bundle to love and take care of, with seemingly more urgent needs.



And then I remember that billions of other women have done the same thing. They survived. Their children survived. Some of them even did well.

I am excited to meet this little tornado that has been living inside of me for so long. I can't wait to be able to look at him and feel his soft, soft skin. I am excited for the Bug to be a big brother. I am happy that our little family is growing. I hope that I am up to the challenge. I know that there are going to be long periods of readjusting for all of us. If it is anything like last time, there will be some very blue days ahead for me. Perhaps months worth of them. But they pass. They always pass, and they make the happy days priceless treasures.

So even though I may never feel like I'm on top of the latest mess or project and that I'll never be completely ready for this baby to come, I'm glad that the time is flying and that this baby will be here sooner than I can believe. This is going to be a great summer!

Isaac Forrest Jan 2009

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Confessions of a Say-at-Home Mom

-Sometimes we have popcorn at 8 in the morning.

-You can usually find at least three dirty diapers sitting by the door waiting for someone to take them out.

-Sometimes I don't get ready for the day until 2:30 in the afternoon.

-Sometimes I don't get ready at all.

-I have a temper. I am becoming very aware that it has everything to do with where I'm coming from and very little to do with his behavior. The Bug has graciously accepted many apologies. I'm getting better.

-I think hearing my kid say 'poop' is the cutest thing in the world.

-Sometimes I hide his favorite movies because I'm so sick of them.

-Sometimes I don't wash the yogurt out of my son's hair. Why? He'll just put something else in it in 10 minutes. Besides, I'm sure he'll get a bath sometime this week.

-Sometimes I just let the phone ring. I love chatting in person, emails, a letter, but I HATE talking endlessly on the phone, halfway in a conversation and halfway conscious of what is going on in my home, unable to fully interact with my son.

-Every evening we watch out the window for the Mr. to come home. I want to cry happy tears when I see how much that little boy loves his Daddy. Sometimes I do.

Last June

-I absolutely love, love, love what I do. I would rather be home with my little boy than doing anything else in the world. I really mean it.



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Not So Natural

Here's a tidbit from the book 'Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child' I have been reading.

"The concept of emotion coaching is a simple one that's based on common sense and rooted in our deepest feelings of love and empathy for our children. Unfortunately, however, emotion coaching doesn't come naturally to all parents simply because they love their children. Nor does it automatically flow out of a parent's conscious decision to take a warm and positive approach to dealing with a child. Rather, Emotion Coaching is an art that requires emotional awareness and a specific set of listening and problem-solving behaviors...The path to becoming a better parent--like most every road to personal growth and mastery--begins with self-examination."

What? We have to work to be good parents? Oh shoot, I'm in trouble.

I was so sure when I was young and unmarried and planning my future family that I would be the world's best mom. I would be loving and understanding and have oodles of patience and no temper. While these are all wonderful things they are not, necessarily, true. Of me, I mean. I do hope to get there--plan to, in fact, but the illusion that because I wanted it so badly I could be that way naturally, without effort, has indeed come tumbling down. Like the book says--it takes effort. It takes awareness and hard work to change and lots and lots of opportunities to do so. I can see myself growing already in the short time I've been a parent. She can be taught!

I have also found that a good dose of time on one's knees (we're talking prayer, people) can go a lot farther than the 'philosophies of men'. They have their place, don't get me wrong--why do you think I'm reading this book? I'm just saying; if you need some direction regarding parenting, the ultimate Father may have some good ideas. Just sayin'.

Now if only I can be better at following my own advice.



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The Heart of Parenting

I have recently started reading a book that I think every parent should read. It is written by John Gottman. He is well known in the marriage and family arena, and I studied a lot of his work while in school. He really seems to get what makes families work, and what is important.

This book talks about the importance of helping our children learn to process their emotions. He cites all kinds of studies showing that when children can deal with their feelings appropriately, they are less anxious, less angry, and more resilient in general.






So, how do we teach our kids this awesome ability? We be there. We talk to them, we teach them. Get it. Read it. Do it.


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Nom Nom

So yesterday I decided to can some apricots. The Mr. brought some home after he ran his crazy 1/2 marathon on Saturday (straight up a mountain. What a man.). I don't know what I was thinking trying to do it while The Bug was awake. It had the potential to be a ginormous disaster.

In fact, however, it turned out to be really fun. At first I tried shoeing him outside to play with the dog. That only worked for a few minutes; he wanted to know what I was doing. So, I showed him what I was doing. And then he helped. First I would hand him the apricot halves and he would put them in the jar. Then he wanted to half the apricots, and he had his own way of doing it, too. He would basically smash the apricot until he could see the pit and then he'd pull it out. You can tell which jars he filled himself, because they look more like jam and less like apricot halves.






I have to say, I am surprised at how much he understood, how well he followed directions, and how delightful it was to work with him. Even if it added a teeny tiny bit more stress and some extra cleanup time, it was totally worth it. Besides, it's not really about canning apricots, is it?

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Time Out

We are instigating the use of time-outs here at the P. house. It is not fun. I hate doing it, because it makes the Bug so sad. He laughs all the way as I carry him to his room and realization only dawns as the door shuts between us. Then the wailing begins. Poor guy. It would be so much easier to just let him get into trouble. I watch him doing something wrong, and I just want so badly for him to stop on his own, because I don't want to punish him. He just doesn't seem to make the connection, though.

I guess that's how Heavenly Father feels all the time. Here we are on earth, making mistake after mistake and He, from His perfect perspective watches us and just wishes we would start doing it right on our own. Sometimes I feel like I'm the one just not making the connections.

I'm pretty grateful that He lets us learn from our mistakes, though. We'd be a pretty pathetic lot if He just bailed us out every time or let us get away with it because we 'didn't know any better.'

Looking at it that way makes it a little bit easier to teach Isaac about consequences, knowing that it is for his benefit in the long run. Just a little bit easier, though.



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