Not So Natural

Here's a tidbit from the book 'Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child' I have been reading.

"The concept of emotion coaching is a simple one that's based on common sense and rooted in our deepest feelings of love and empathy for our children. Unfortunately, however, emotion coaching doesn't come naturally to all parents simply because they love their children. Nor does it automatically flow out of a parent's conscious decision to take a warm and positive approach to dealing with a child. Rather, Emotion Coaching is an art that requires emotional awareness and a specific set of listening and problem-solving behaviors...The path to becoming a better parent--like most every road to personal growth and mastery--begins with self-examination."

What? We have to work to be good parents? Oh shoot, I'm in trouble.

I was so sure when I was young and unmarried and planning my future family that I would be the world's best mom. I would be loving and understanding and have oodles of patience and no temper. While these are all wonderful things they are not, necessarily, true. Of me, I mean. I do hope to get there--plan to, in fact, but the illusion that because I wanted it so badly I could be that way naturally, without effort, has indeed come tumbling down. Like the book says--it takes effort. It takes awareness and hard work to change and lots and lots of opportunities to do so. I can see myself growing already in the short time I've been a parent. She can be taught!

I have also found that a good dose of time on one's knees (we're talking prayer, people) can go a lot farther than the 'philosophies of men'. They have their place, don't get me wrong--why do you think I'm reading this book? I'm just saying; if you need some direction regarding parenting, the ultimate Father may have some good ideas. Just sayin'.

Now if only I can be better at following my own advice.



SBB