The Purpose of Life

Lately I have been feeling generally unfulfilled--like my life has lost its sparkle. I made a comment about searching for my purpose, and I received some insight from several people. I needed a reminder about what is really important.

My sister-in-law told me "Look closely and I think you'll see that you already know what it is." On a more comical side, a friend added "what! you lost your boy?", and a dear old friend said "I think you are already fulfilling it! Are you looking for more?"

I let myself get down, discouraged, and distracted. I forgot about what it is I'm suppose to be doing.

As a Child of God

I came to this earth because I chose to follow the plan that my Heavenly Father created. Coming here meant receiving a body, leaving His presence, and being tested for a time. Sometimes I feel like I just want to go 'home', back to Him, and away from this world that feels so foreign and uncomfortable to me. But giving up was not part of that plan. The only way back to Him is through. I have to remember that the struggles I face here are temporary, and a test. Through my life on this earth I can prove to my Heavenly Father that I will follow Him no matter how bad things get. I am so grateful to His son, Jesus Christ, for willingly atoning for my sins so that I am able to return to their presence again. If He was able to take upon Him the weight and sin and sorrow of all who would ever pass through this world, I can certainly handle my own trials with Him by my side. So, my purposes in this life as a child of God are to: 1. Gain a body. 2. Live worthily to return to my Heavenly Parents.

As a Woman

From 'The Family: A Proclamation to the World', a beautiful document that emphasizes the importance of families:

"Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose...Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children."

All my life I have wanted to be a mom. A few years ago I found an old school paper from when I was in grade school. It asked where I wanted to be when I was 30. What would be my job? What would my life look like? What would I look like? I knew exactly where I planned to be. My job would be a homemaker. I would have three or four kids, a house, a degree from BYU, and short, wavy hair. I was so sure of what I wanted back then. Looking at my life now, I am well on my way to having all of these things when I hit thirty in a few short years. So why am I not happy? As I discussed with the Mr. my friends' comments about my purpose "quest", and how all of them hinted towards motherhood, I asked him: "If that was my entire purpose, don't you think I would find fulfillment doing it?" Dear, sweet man. He thought about it and offered: "Maybe Heavenly Father wants to know if you'll do it even if you don't feel fulfilled."

I know that God wants me to be a mother. I know that this is my divine calling and opportunity. I love my son, and I love being his mother. I know that he was sent to our family intentionally. He is not just the combination of genes and chromosomes and character traits that combined when egg and sperm met. He has a spirit, and he was sent to our family. The same is true for all the children I have not yet given birth to (and I hope there are many).

Women were created to nurture. I need to do a better job of doing just that, especially as a mom. My child needs my attention. He needs my unconditional love, soft voice, and righteous example. And I need to pray to feel fulfillment in doing these things. So, my purposes in this life as a woman are to: 1. Raise my children in truth and righteousness. 2. Nurture everyone around me.

As an Individual

This is where my search is momentarily coming up short. I know that I am a unique, talented, beautiful being. So is every other person that walks this earth. We are each given gifts (and the opportunity to acquire more gifts) that can be used to help others, and create beauty and light. I want to find that light in myself. I want to learn what I can do to reach other people. What purpose does God have for me?

Hopefully one day I will be able to write a post telling everyone just that.

SBB