Tuesday, September 7, 2010

To scarf or not to scarf...THAT is the question

Fall is almost here. That means it is time to instigate my brilliant pull-free plan. I have been experimenting here and there with different aspects. This is going to be hard. I bought a new pair of glasses, since the Bug thought it would be funny to incapacitate my last pair. I don't love them, but it's hard to justify spending more than $9.99 on a pair of eye glasses without a prescription, so I'll take what I can get.

Meh

Here's the thing. I'm planning on wearing a hat or a scarf on my head every day so that I can't pull without consciously taking it off (and getting conscious is one of my main goals here). Around the house that's no problem, aside from it getting really old and dull and wanting to let my beautiful hair down every once in awhile, but I've run into a problem. Sometimes I have to leave my house. When I do, off comes the scarf because I feel silly. When I come home, I do not remember to immediately put the scarf back on and this is my downfall. So I'm wondering what to do. Do I have the guts to don a scarf in public? I'm not a huge fan of lying or bending the truth, but I don't think it is appropriate to explain to every person that gives me a funny look that I have a tendency to pull out my hair.

If I saw someone wearing a scarf over their hair around town I would think that they were either trying to hide something or trying to work a new style that wasn't...working. Actually, in all honesty, I would probably think: 'oh, cute! I should do that.' But I worry that other people would look at me and think differently. The last thing I want is to draw attention to myself. And yet, I think it would help me. I just wish I didn't care so much about what other people think; feel the need to explain myself, you know? Any thoughts?

I feel like I am getting to a good place with my Trichotillomania. I don't like it, of course I don't like it. I hate it, and I hate myself when I don't want to pull out my hair and my body just does it anyway. But I am not ashamed. It is not something I feel like I have to hide, and that is refreshing. Like I said, it's not exactly something to be shouted from the rooftops, but my value is not decreased because I struggle with this.


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4 comments:

  1. TamaraSeptember 7, 2010 at 2:22 PM

    Can you do something like braid your hair so that it makes it harder to pull out? A scarf might not exactly be in style but what about braids and a bandana?? Hats are always cute and I really don't think many people would question that!! And I still think positive reinforcement and compliments will help.....if not to make you feel more confident but to at least make you become aware of it so that it's more of a conscious thought.

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  2. SBBSeptember 12, 2010 at 7:17 PM

    Tammy,

    Braids don't help a ton because I pull at the roots. I have done the braids and banana thing. I agree that no one's going to question a hat, but I'm a little worried about becoming 'that weird girl who always has her head covered.' Silly, I know.

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  3. Brandon and AleshaSeptember 12, 2010 at 11:16 PM

    I admire you so much! Would wearing a wig be an option, or too itchy?

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  4. SBBSeptember 13, 2010 at 5:40 PM

    Well, a wig would be an option, but I would probably want to shave my head if I did that, and I don't want to do that. Who knows--maybe that will be next winter's experiment :)

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